update

this blog has been put on hiatus due to serious life changes. if you'd like to continue to share my journey elsewhere, please email me at sunnywave at gee mail (the google owned webmail system) dot com. otherwise, thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be back online here someday in the future.

ladybug and cinderella

ladybug was a perfect ladybug, and squirrel was delighted to be cinderella...we have often laughed about trying to shield the "princess consciousness" from squirrel--but no matter what you do, how 'feminist' you may lean, the princess stuff infiltrates your home! she was in heaven, in her cinderella dress, though, and they had an awesome time, trick-or-treating, but i think squirrel had more fun passing out the candy. we ran out of candy by 7:15!

do re mi

our sweet squirrel sang in a choir concert at her school this past sunday night...K-2 graders sing together and the theme was 'the movies,' so they sang all kinds of songs, like the bear necessities, akuna matata, i don't want to grow up, part of your world, candy man...LOL.

i can't figure out why the video is loading sideways...squirrel is the small blue blob in blue, in the center, second row...i tried to take pictures, but i have a small camera--and the lighting/flash combo made all the children's eyes glow so they looked possessed...thought I better not post that...

so proud of squirrel--such a big girl now. *hug*

sisters

big sis squirrel is visiting at her old preschool for a couple days this week and next, where baby ladybug now attends. baby is in the young kids group, and squirrel is back with her old teacher, "helping" out. they meet up on the playground, where squirrel's former teacher took this pic. :-) :-) :-)

upward and onward

just wanted to post a quick note...that i'm feeling happy today. :-)

my life is not perfect, and yes there's a lot of pain and hurt swirling all around me, but somehow...i am grateful.

i am grateful for love and friendship and caring.

i am grateful for my friends near and far who have shown me through the years, that love really does conquer hurt and fear.

i am grateful for the colorful personalities of my family who have shaped me to be who i am.

and i am grateful for my little girls who i adore and who have stretched my heart to the edge of the universe and back.

and there are many, many more things for which i am grateful...a pause to fill my heart up and let it overflow.

:-)

love,
sunnywave

challenges

the blog has been quiet lately, reflective of the very personal struggles i'm dealing with right now. i can't tell if this is the hardest thing i've ever done, considering all the deaths of loved ones that i've lived through, as well as major life changes and heartbreaks through which i've also survived, with the love and support of my friends and family. i feel like crying a lot, and i do. it is a constant struggle, a roller coaster of extreme lows, but also surprising highs. a surprise to see that i still know that i have love inside me to give.

because at the end of the day, i do not want to be bitter and angry, i do not want to deny myself happiness. i realize it's easy to type these words, not so easy to live them. but every day i try.

dear god, please help me remain kind and loving. please, please help me deal with this pain and keep my most loved precious ones safe and protected from heartache and pain, as much as possible. please help us remember to be caring, respectful, and empathetic. and please help us to live our truth...

amen.

um...squirrel can read...

really! i'm not kidding. i'm totally mommying out on the mommy blog, but i just discovered this piece of information this week. i dug through squirrel's backpack on the way home from school and she said, mommy give me the book. and she started reading it to me from the backseat. all slow like. so i knew she was reading, rather than repeating something from memory. ??!!

sure, it's sentences like: matt has a hat. in the hat is a rabbit.
or

the boy and the girl have wheels.
or

the dolphin is blue. which crayon is blue?

but wow. it happened so fast. i blinked and now, squirrel is reading.

and singing and playing and loving kindergarten. thank goodness...

i <3 you, squirrel.

love, your proud mama.

ballet jump!

hanging with the girls

flower girls...

squirrel's first day

of kindergarten was actually last week thursday. she loved it! in fact, she woke up bright and early the next day to go back. when i dropped her off, she was bouncing and skipping, and with a 'bye mom!' off she went to eat her breakfast with the kindergarten teacher's aide...i hope and pray that the excitement and happiness continues. she is very excited about learning to read, she tells me... :-D

soon to be flower girls...